This is Awkward...But I Don't Babysit.

We have a couple friends that we have made through TJ's work. I really like them, they are fun and I have had a really good time whenever we have spent time together. They have young children also, so its nice that we are in the same "phase" of life. The wife, Tina, works while I stay home, so I don't get to spend as much time with her as I would like.

We have struck up a deal where we will watch their kids for them when they have plans, and they will watch Pants when we have plans. It works out wonderful - the kids have playmates and we don't have to pay baby-sitters. It is a neat little arrangement...

Until last week. TJ came home from work and said that Tina and Josh's daycare was going to be closed for a couple days this week and asked if I would be interested in watching their kids for a couple days.

"Nope." I didn't even pause to think.

"Seriously?" TJ asked "It is like two days, they would pay you, and Pants would have friends to play with."

"Yeah. No."

"Well - what am I supposed to tell them??"

"Say you are sorry, but I am not interested."

I'm not. Here's the thing - and it makes me a bad person- I realize this - but I don't really care for kids. Other than mine. I adore mine - like can't get enough of him. Other people's kids though - I am just uncomfortable. I don't dislike them or anything, but I am just awkward. I don't know how to talk to them. I feel weird if I am in a position to have to discipline. The thought of being in charge of multiple meals, naps, and 7-8 hours of just me and two kids who are not mine just scares the hell out of me.

I told TJ this - and he looked at me like I had three heads. "What about Rhea's kids?" Rhea is TJ's sister. Nope- not even them. I spend lots and lots of time with them - and I love them - but I have no desire to spend an extended period of time alone with them. I have a friend - Marie - whose daughters I really do like - so TJ asked "Marie?". Still no. He was just shocked. 

I'm not even sure how to put it into words. I had to be talked into having kids. Now, of course, I can't imagine my life without him - and would love one more. Adoring my kid, however, doesn't change how I feel about the other children in the world. I would like to be on a polite - but once removed - relationship with them. I am seriously terrified at the thought of Pants being 6 or 7 and wanting to bring friends home from school. I should become a hoarder or something so Pants won't want to bring friends home at all. Yeah- that could work. Or a nudist. Whatever. I have a little time to figure that out.

I can only hope that by the time I have a 6 year old - I will be more comfortable around 6 year olds. I am guessing that is one of things about being a mom I am just going have to suck it up and do it. I will not cross that bridge, though, until I absolutely have to.