TJ was incredibly sweet and went grocery shopping last night for me. I made a list for him. All was good.
TJ gets home and says "I had to improvise. Your list didn't have enough specifics."
Me: "What do you mean?"
TJ: "Well, you said sliced olives."
Me: "Yeah?"
TJ: "But, you didn't say how many to get. I had to guess. I guessed three."
Me: "Oh."
I had to choke on the couple sarcastic comments about how he survived before a shopping list and how sorry I was to make him think. I appreciate his help very much - and would not want to shoot that particular gift horse.
I always wonder after a conversation like this if I am prone to flying off the handle about the amount of black olives in my pantry. I will have to watch that from now on. Hmmmm.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Dearly Devoted Dexter
I love books. Really - LOVE books. I spent a large amount of my childhood wishing I was Belle from Beauty and the Beast, because of the library she got. I have never in my life been more jealous than when the Beast drew back those curtains and gifted Belle with thousands upon thousands of books. It is still my lifelong goal to have a house with a library. I have so many books that I require at least two bookshelves - probably 300-400 books. I love books.
I spend any "real" me time reading, and I would really like to have someone to talk to about the books I like. I haven't found a real life book-club that doesn't just read stupid, sappy love stories that make me want to puke. I found an on-line book club that I really like - but its slow. None of my friends read. Sooo...
I am going to talk about them here. Ha! Problem solved.
(Forewarning: this will definitely contain spoilers)
My latest book is Dearly Devoted Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay. This is the second book in his series about the blood-splatter analyst.
I will start by saying that I really like the Showtime series - and the books are absolutely nothing like the series.
This book is about Dexter as he tries to handle people who know what he is - a serial killer. Deb knows his secret, and Sargent Doakes has one of his own and seems to have an innate ability to sense it in others. Maybe all serial killers do - because Dexter's dark passenger seems to easily recognize another killer.
Doakes has Dexter backed into a corner - he has made it his mission to tail Dexter and catch him making a mistake - so Dexter is forced to wok on his disguise, a mild-mannered boyfriend to Rita. He discovers his love of beer, and his despise of the really boring day to day life of humans.
Dexter gets a break when a really sadistic fuck from Doake's days as an army hit-man comes back - completely dismembering his victims, shaving all the hair from their bodies, and cutting out their tongues...and then leaving them alive. And insane. An FBI agent comes to town, Deb falls in love with him - and he falls victim to Dr. Danco. Dexter frees the fed - Doakes gets kidnapped in the cross fire - Dexter gets caught trying to save him - and ta-da! Deb and the fed save Dexter just in time - but too late for Doakes - who loses his tongue and hands and now has to keep Dexter's secret for the rest of his life.
Oh yeah - Dexter accidentally proposes to Rita and finds out her son Cody is killing neighborhood pets.
I liked this book - didn't love it. It is short - so a lot has to happen in a really short span of time - which seems rushed a lot of the time. I know that Dexter is good - but to get everything right at the first guess is a little hard to believe. I was also frustrated that weeks of time would pass with nothing happening - and Dexter not able to get a hold of Deb - and then boom - she would reappear with more information. I know it was designed to keep me feeling frustrated with Dexter - since he doesn't understand basic human interactions. All it really did though, since I DO understand humans - was make me feel frustrated - I knew Deb was in love and getting laid - I didn't need to wait for Dexter to figure it out.
I also had a hard time with how O.K Deb is with knowing that Dexter is a serial killer. She just makes a couple small comments but seems to be fine with it. Especially as a detective who hunts and hates killers for a living, I don't really believe that Deb would just be like "Oh, cool - Dexter kills. But he is my brother. Its fine." Nope, not buying it.
I really enjoy how put upon Dexter gets when Deb or Rita needs help. I was cracking up during the scene where he rescues her Fed boyfriend, and Deb is calling over and over to try to get info, and he just can't understand why she is so worried about her now amputee boyfriend. He is legitimately angry that she won't just let him go to sleep. It was really freaking funny.
All in all, I enjoyed the book, and I will for sure read the next one. I just hope he isn't afraid to go deeper- it isn't often that I feel like I know a character better on TV than I do in the book - but that is what is happening with this series so far. I hope that changes.
I spend any "real" me time reading, and I would really like to have someone to talk to about the books I like. I haven't found a real life book-club that doesn't just read stupid, sappy love stories that make me want to puke. I found an on-line book club that I really like - but its slow. None of my friends read. Sooo...
I am going to talk about them here. Ha! Problem solved.
(Forewarning: this will definitely contain spoilers)
My latest book is Dearly Devoted Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay. This is the second book in his series about the blood-splatter analyst.
I will start by saying that I really like the Showtime series - and the books are absolutely nothing like the series.
This book is about Dexter as he tries to handle people who know what he is - a serial killer. Deb knows his secret, and Sargent Doakes has one of his own and seems to have an innate ability to sense it in others. Maybe all serial killers do - because Dexter's dark passenger seems to easily recognize another killer.
Doakes has Dexter backed into a corner - he has made it his mission to tail Dexter and catch him making a mistake - so Dexter is forced to wok on his disguise, a mild-mannered boyfriend to Rita. He discovers his love of beer, and his despise of the really boring day to day life of humans.
Dexter gets a break when a really sadistic fuck from Doake's days as an army hit-man comes back - completely dismembering his victims, shaving all the hair from their bodies, and cutting out their tongues...and then leaving them alive. And insane. An FBI agent comes to town, Deb falls in love with him - and he falls victim to Dr. Danco. Dexter frees the fed - Doakes gets kidnapped in the cross fire - Dexter gets caught trying to save him - and ta-da! Deb and the fed save Dexter just in time - but too late for Doakes - who loses his tongue and hands and now has to keep Dexter's secret for the rest of his life.
Oh yeah - Dexter accidentally proposes to Rita and finds out her son Cody is killing neighborhood pets.
I liked this book - didn't love it. It is short - so a lot has to happen in a really short span of time - which seems rushed a lot of the time. I know that Dexter is good - but to get everything right at the first guess is a little hard to believe. I was also frustrated that weeks of time would pass with nothing happening - and Dexter not able to get a hold of Deb - and then boom - she would reappear with more information. I know it was designed to keep me feeling frustrated with Dexter - since he doesn't understand basic human interactions. All it really did though, since I DO understand humans - was make me feel frustrated - I knew Deb was in love and getting laid - I didn't need to wait for Dexter to figure it out.
I also had a hard time with how O.K Deb is with knowing that Dexter is a serial killer. She just makes a couple small comments but seems to be fine with it. Especially as a detective who hunts and hates killers for a living, I don't really believe that Deb would just be like "Oh, cool - Dexter kills. But he is my brother. Its fine." Nope, not buying it.
I really enjoy how put upon Dexter gets when Deb or Rita needs help. I was cracking up during the scene where he rescues her Fed boyfriend, and Deb is calling over and over to try to get info, and he just can't understand why she is so worried about her now amputee boyfriend. He is legitimately angry that she won't just let him go to sleep. It was really freaking funny.
All in all, I enjoyed the book, and I will for sure read the next one. I just hope he isn't afraid to go deeper- it isn't often that I feel like I know a character better on TV than I do in the book - but that is what is happening with this series so far. I hope that changes.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
That Damn Obama
I am a Republican (gasp!)
It is largely for fiscal reasons. I am not a fan of big government, and I want to drink my 44 ounces of diet coke from Sonic without being judged. I want to be able to own a gun if I want. I am definitely not a fan of political correctness. I do, however, support gay marriage and am pro-choice.
To the point:
A couple that we are friends with invited us to dinner last night. We went, had a good time, ate some good food, and all was totally peachy until the topic of politics came up. Cue lots of eye rolling from me.
All of us at the get-together vote the same, we are fairly like-minded. It was not a horrible or offensive conversation...until we started talking about gun control. I am not for gun control by any means, but living out here in the wild, wild mid-west - anything short of standing in the middle of a field firing shots into the air screaming about the right to bear arms is not fervent enough.
I listened, knowing that I didn't have much to add to the conversation, until someone said "I think Obama is just using things like the Sandy Hook shooting as a tool. I don't think he cares at all. He just wants to use it to his advantage."
Ruh-roh.
So I said "Like him or not, I think that questioning his sincerity on that issue is not cool." And the conversation moved on.
It stuck with me though. I suppose I understand that if you don't like the opposing side and their goals do not reflect your goals that you judge them with a critical eye. However, anyone who watched any of the coverage of what happened to those kids (and adults) in that school and didn't feel a hollow pit in their stomach is not human. Especially a parent. I am not a hysterical person at all, but I definitely hugged my baby much tighter that day.
President Obama is just that - he is our President. He is charged with the protection and care of all the people in our borders, and while there was never anything he could have done personally to stop that act - to say that he didn't feel genuine shock and sadness at what happened that day is ridiculous. To imply that he didn't feel an ounce of horror and instead quickly got his speech writers together to decide how to spin this to fit his agenda is stupid. His politics may not make sense to me - but he isn't a monster.
This is why I immediately groan, roll my eyes, and try to stop listening when politics and religion are brought up. People don't seem capable of respectfully disagreeing without attacking the other side. And we wonder why we can't get a damn thing done in this country.
(You all think politics are bad? Visit a mommy-message board sometime. Those bitches be crazy!)
It is largely for fiscal reasons. I am not a fan of big government, and I want to drink my 44 ounces of diet coke from Sonic without being judged. I want to be able to own a gun if I want. I am definitely not a fan of political correctness. I do, however, support gay marriage and am pro-choice.
To the point:
A couple that we are friends with invited us to dinner last night. We went, had a good time, ate some good food, and all was totally peachy until the topic of politics came up. Cue lots of eye rolling from me.
All of us at the get-together vote the same, we are fairly like-minded. It was not a horrible or offensive conversation...until we started talking about gun control. I am not for gun control by any means, but living out here in the wild, wild mid-west - anything short of standing in the middle of a field firing shots into the air screaming about the right to bear arms is not fervent enough.
I listened, knowing that I didn't have much to add to the conversation, until someone said "I think Obama is just using things like the Sandy Hook shooting as a tool. I don't think he cares at all. He just wants to use it to his advantage."
Ruh-roh.
So I said "Like him or not, I think that questioning his sincerity on that issue is not cool." And the conversation moved on.
It stuck with me though. I suppose I understand that if you don't like the opposing side and their goals do not reflect your goals that you judge them with a critical eye. However, anyone who watched any of the coverage of what happened to those kids (and adults) in that school and didn't feel a hollow pit in their stomach is not human. Especially a parent. I am not a hysterical person at all, but I definitely hugged my baby much tighter that day.
President Obama is just that - he is our President. He is charged with the protection and care of all the people in our borders, and while there was never anything he could have done personally to stop that act - to say that he didn't feel genuine shock and sadness at what happened that day is ridiculous. To imply that he didn't feel an ounce of horror and instead quickly got his speech writers together to decide how to spin this to fit his agenda is stupid. His politics may not make sense to me - but he isn't a monster.
This is why I immediately groan, roll my eyes, and try to stop listening when politics and religion are brought up. People don't seem capable of respectfully disagreeing without attacking the other side. And we wonder why we can't get a damn thing done in this country.
(You all think politics are bad? Visit a mommy-message board sometime. Those bitches be crazy!)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Its Wraptastic!
Ever seen that infomercial with the Wraptastic? Its basically just a fancy box for your saran wrap dispensing needs.
I don't want it. Really. But the whole commercial they have this ah-may-zing SNAP noise every time the Wraptastic! snaps off a bit of foil. Wrap a hoagie - SNAP! Cover the lasagna - SNAP! Foil a baked potato - SNAP!
I want to buy it just to see if it has the great snap noise, and then return it immediately.
Yes, I am crazy.
I don't want it. Really. But the whole commercial they have this ah-may-zing SNAP noise every time the Wraptastic! snaps off a bit of foil. Wrap a hoagie - SNAP! Cover the lasagna - SNAP! Foil a baked potato - SNAP!
I want to buy it just to see if it has the great snap noise, and then return it immediately.
Yes, I am crazy.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
50 Dollars for a Hippo!?!?
Pants is quickly getting a baby library, which rocks. He loves books and brings me multiple books a day to sit on my lap and read. I think I may be raising a reader- hallelujah! Praise Jeebus.
We finally got enough non-board books that I needed bookends. So I cruised Pinterest and found these -Zuny Bookends - which are adorable little safari bookends. I found them on Amazon for the low, low price of 50 fucking dollars. FOR ONE! Shit, in college, I had two bookSHELVES that didn't total 50 bucks.
So if you want your books to be bookended on both ends (confused?) you have to pay 100 fucking dollars. For bookends.
To add insult to injury, I googled these little dudes to see if they are cheaper somewhere else, which they aren't. But you can get a pair for 120 bucks. So, you know - more expensive to buy two than one. What the fuck? Are these people cracked? I checked and the animals do not move, light up, sing, teach your child to read or anything else that may possibly justify spending 100 dollars on something that books lean against.
I found really cute little monkeys for 29 bucks, and I got two. So - what - 14.50 a bookend? I couldn't afford not to buy them.
(I am a sucky blogger. My proof? I just used the word sucky. And I never write. I want to try harder. I am going to write more. I am. IamIamIamIam.)
We finally got enough non-board books that I needed bookends. So I cruised Pinterest and found these -Zuny Bookends - which are adorable little safari bookends. I found them on Amazon for the low, low price of 50 fucking dollars. FOR ONE! Shit, in college, I had two bookSHELVES that didn't total 50 bucks.
So if you want your books to be bookended on both ends (confused?) you have to pay 100 fucking dollars. For bookends.
To add insult to injury, I googled these little dudes to see if they are cheaper somewhere else, which they aren't. But you can get a pair for 120 bucks. So, you know - more expensive to buy two than one. What the fuck? Are these people cracked? I checked and the animals do not move, light up, sing, teach your child to read or anything else that may possibly justify spending 100 dollars on something that books lean against.
I found really cute little monkeys for 29 bucks, and I got two. So - what - 14.50 a bookend? I couldn't afford not to buy them.
(I am a sucky blogger. My proof? I just used the word sucky. And I never write. I want to try harder. I am going to write more. I am. IamIamIamIam.)
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The Pinterest Problem
Pants is turning one in about three weeks. I am throwing a birthday party - just a small one with the grandparents and aunts and uncles. Nothing fancy just celebrating my little man getting HUGE!
So, I decided to cruise on pinterest for a few ideas on theme, cake - whatever. What a terrible freaking idea.
The over the top parties are insane. Huge, elaborate set ups - with all kinds of crazy decorations, favors, table settings, center pieces, hand painted signs for the seating charts (SEATING CHARTS?!?!) and on and on. I was exhausted just looking at this stuff. I just wanted a cute little idea on what to draw on a square cake, maybe with a cute little banner.
Then there are the cakes...
Oh. Em. Motha. Effing. Gee.
Take this little creation I found when I searched "lego birthday"
Yup. That is an entire lego construction crew turning this cake from dirt to legos.
Or this that I found when I searched "elmo birhday"...
So, I decided to cruise on pinterest for a few ideas on theme, cake - whatever. What a terrible freaking idea.
The over the top parties are insane. Huge, elaborate set ups - with all kinds of crazy decorations, favors, table settings, center pieces, hand painted signs for the seating charts (SEATING CHARTS?!?!) and on and on. I was exhausted just looking at this stuff. I just wanted a cute little idea on what to draw on a square cake, maybe with a cute little banner.
Then there are the cakes...
Oh. Em. Motha. Effing. Gee.
Take this little creation I found when I searched "lego birthday"
Or this that I found when I searched "elmo birhday"...
This is a CAKE? Are you freaking kidding me? I mean - I could not even begin to pull off the lego one - but this one...I would have to be an artist. Plus, I should have started practicing about when I conceived.
This is the sancti-mommy crap that I can't stand. My box cake with a little picture drawn on it is going to look just pitiful next to all these crazy ladies. It's not like Pants is going to remember his one year birthday extravaganza. He is not going to look at pictures of that day, where he is surrounded by all his family - and think "Damn, mom, you really slacked off on that cake. Timmy's mom made him an Elmo that popped out of his cake. I hate you woman." With pinterest and facebook - there is this whole thing happening now where the appearance of being an ah-MAZ-zing mother is much more important than being actually amazing. And I think that 5 days it would take to make an Elmo cake, not to mention all the time practicing, could be so much better spent - oh- I don't know - playing with the baby?
Whatever. I am going to decorate a little corner of his cake special for him to smash - hang a happy birthday banner on the wall behind him - and spend that whole day fussing over my baby.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Why are we still here?
Its the eeeennnnddd of the woooorrrrrlllldddd as we know it - and I feeeeel ffiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeee!!!
Didn't stop me from trying to eat my weight in buffalo wings last night.
Calories on Apocalypse Eve don't count. Right?
Didn't stop me from trying to eat my weight in buffalo wings last night.
Calories on Apocalypse Eve don't count. Right?
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